Saturday 5 October 2013

Moon

So tonight I see your face in the moon
And the moon looks back and says hi
I smile back as I imagine you mouthing those words
I want to keep the conversation going
But not with the moon
I’ll have to wait for you to say hi back
Then something will be started,
The ball will begin to roll
I’ll listen to melodies I never heard before
Tunes from far-off lands
And I get to appreciate your every note
Tomorrow I’ll try again

Moon, lead me to you.

Prom Likit

I recall a time when my family was watching our favorite Thai sitcom over dinner, and they mentioned a peculiar term in Thai. Having limited knowledge of advanced Thai terms, I asked, "What does 'prom likit' mean?"

My late mother said, "'Prom likit' is a belief that is shared within the Thai people. Basically, it suggests that people are all born with one life partner, and, once they come into existence, they begin their journey to search for this one person."

As with many other beliefs, there are many 'reasons' as to why one sometimes does not find his/her life partner.

Although I have never been religious (I don't really believe in reincarnation even though my family is buddhist), this belief has kept me going for a long time. It's given me comfort to know that somewhere, there's someone waiting to walk through the rest of life with me, given all my faults. There's even more comfort in knowing that this isn't limited to heterosexual couples.

When translated, 'prom likit', in English, is 'fate'.

I wonder if one can feel it when they've found the person 'prom likit' destined for them.

For a while now, I've been gushing over someone. This is a completely new experience for me, for I've only interacted with him for a little over four hours on that one day when we first met. Usually, that amount of time is not enough for me to develop feelings so fondly for someone. (My other crushes had at least 1 month of daily/fortnightly interaction before I developed feelings for them.) Never had I ever considered the term 'prom likit' on them, but last night, when I sat alone on the bus, I thought back to this term I heard so many years ago.

I met him at a quaint little card shop in Paya Lebar. It was the Monday of the September Holidays, and I had just gotten a new deck and wanted to try it out. Being my anti-social self, I sorted my deck and looked around for someone to play with. Behind me, a group of boys were playing. Instead of just stoning, I went over to watch the game. And there, I met him.

I remember his name because one of his friends kept calling him. Cleon. Cleon. Cleon.

I found that name completely mesmerising. It's so simple, yet classy. So I remembered. Cleon. Cleon. Cleon. His presence bloomed with so many redeeming qualities. When we played together, I did not get tired, as I did with most other players. I was having fun.

For days I've been trying to get some way to connect with him. (I was dumb enough not to ask for his number back then.) When I found his Facebook profile, I immediately sent him a friend request. And now, I'm still waiting for him to accept it. It's been at least a few days, but I still hope he'll accept the request, or at least I'll get to see him again at the same shop sometime soon.

For once, I might have found the person I am destined to be with.

Sunday 22 September 2013

Say

I'm still wondering
When will I
Ever be able to
Say these words to you

Now that I've said it
There's been no time for regrets
I just have to learn to move on, let go
Please stop hurting, heart, please.

Wednesday 14 August 2013

Re: Econs

I saw your exhausted eyes lined with millions of words and sentences all in an absolute jumble for the day after.

I wished my hands were beside you to pat your little head; for comfort, support.

Tonight, I dimmed your lights and made sure you're ready.

Tomorrow, I'll send my regards. You well? Prepared?

Sleep well, my dear. Sweet dreams.

Sunday 11 August 2013

The Dentist

Said the girl who found herself staring at her dentist's cold, dark eyes, "My cavities are not there." Her childhood fears started coming back to haunt her again. The dentist's metal instruments looked murderous. His mask added, all the more, to the eerie feel of the decrepit room.

She stared into the mirror that he held up in protest. Indeed, the microscopic holes in her teeth were there, visible to the naked eye. She noticed her pimples, and thought of how they made her look like the devil to others. Her hair seemed distraught, the ironic opposite of what was portrayed on the cover of her shampoo bottle. Everything was wrong with her eyes, her ears, her nose, her mouth, her skin.

Her soul.

A flush of thoughts rushed through her -- her lonely childhood at the orphanage after her parents' death; her mourning at her dearest's funeral; her running down the school hallways escaping from the bullies.

She tried, to live as any other would. Normal. But she could not succeed.

Maybe the dentist had the solutions. Her eyes flickered to the sharp gleams resting on the counter. One, two, three.

"Say ah," said the dentist.

"Ahhh," the girl complied. Today, she was getting her teeth fixed. Maybe tomorrow, she'd be able to live as another would. A normal life.

Someday, everything will be fixed.

It just depends on how long it'll take that day to come.

Tuesday 6 August 2013

You

Sometimes, I wonder how
long this can go on for,
with silence meaning consent
we’re worlds apart yet
I wished our hearts to beat
as one

Synchronised to time strains
the watch would never stop ticking
we can watch it push our time away
but we’ll still be closer together

I feel guilty thinking of you
because I realise everything
is one-directional; one sided
going down the drain but I
still want to imagine

your face, beautiful
amidst the sunrise
your hands, warm and tender
comfort and rested
your eyes, twinkling
like the overseers of god
in the night sky
your words, striking
wonder to my ears

One day I’ll
put my resolution on the line
and tell you of heartaches and
cheesy poems I write when I
think of you

again.

Tuesday 23 July 2013

Disconnected

Today, I feel so 
Disconnected.
The petals of emotions
Have been blown away
Shrugged off light by the wind
Feathers lost when molting
Just like how a
Wood carver tosses aside
All the shavings in
A bin full of rubbish
Today, all the electronics
Haunt me with memories
Creeping behind me
Tempting, taunting, enduring

Why did I leave them there?